coming out

rainbow cockchild · coming out

Coming out of the closet" describes the voluntary public announcement of one's (primarily homosexual or bisexual) sexual orientation or gender identity.

Being "out" means not concealing one's sexual orientation. Being "outed" refers to having one's sexual orientation made public typically against one's wishes or without one's consent. "Outing" is the process of deliberately disclosing the sexuality of another who, presumably, wants to keep this information private.

Some people who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or who otherwise might prefer same-gender sexual activities or relationships, have engaged in heterosexual activities or have had long-term heterosexual relationships, including marriage. Well known examples include Sir Elton John and Oscar Wilde.

Such apparently "heterosexual" behavior by people who would otherwise consider themselves gay or lesbian has often been regarded as part of being "in the closet" to create an illusion for acceptance by heterosexual surroundings. Imposed heterosexuals are to be distinguished from "out" bisexuals in long-term heterosexual relationships.

Others who are "in the closet" have no heterosexual contact and simply want to protect themselves from discrimination or rejection by not revealing their sexual orientation or attractions (see pronoun game). This is known as being on the "down-low" or "DL." This practice may be becoming less common as acceptance of homosexuality increases.

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The coming out process can be drastically different for each individual. For some people the process is very liberating, while for others it can be intimidating. Sometimes the process can be very quick and for others it can be done in baby steps.

I know for me personally it was a very liberating experience. Once I told somebody the truth couldn't be held back. The only people I haven't told are my parents. They have always expressed homophobic viewpoints so I'm still apprehensive about having them in the know. I have to jet.. but I have more to say about this experience for me.. also I'm very interested to hear other people's stories.