arwen
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UnorientationFirst, I want to thank you all very sincerely for creating this forum. It looks quiet right now, but I think it is a wonderful, wonderful idea to provide this type of space for people who may be most comfortable with writing/internet communication.
I would like to get a sense of whether there is any presence at the UO of people/resources for what I--for want of a better term--call the unoriented: people who do not fit in or wish to be defined by traditional categories of sexual orientation and/or gender. They might be people whose feelings about sex and gender vary depending on what's going on in their lives, what relationships they're in, what people they meet, what life stage they're in, or what mood they're in. Or they might be people who just don't like identifying themselves by labels.
I would like to find community for people, myself included, who feel overly constricted by need to fit into a LGBTQA or straight category.
("Queer" might go some distance towards being a label for such hard-to-label people, but it's still implies a box with certain assumptions associated with it. For example, it connotes "gay," which makes it a difficult label for someone like me, who's much more on the "straight" end of the spectrum.)
I welcome any input. Thank you.
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Momotaru
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Hi, and welcome to the forums. I don't want to make assumptions, but I think there are several people in the LGBTQA that could possibly feel the same way you do. I regret that this forum hasn't been advertised as much as it should be, but I hope others in the community come to find this place a safe space to talk.
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rainbow cockchild
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unorientationGENDER VARIANT: A person whose gender presentation, either by nature or by choice does not conform to culturally-specific, gender-based expectations of a male/female binary gendering system that is linked to birth sex. This may include people who don't fit, or choose to fit, into socially defined categories of "male" or "female", some who identify as trans but do not view themselves as either female or male, those who are androgynous, genderqueen and who display gender traits that are not normally associated with their birth sex(eg. "feminine" behaviour in a man or "masculine" behaviour in a woman).
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arwen
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Re: unorientation | rainbow cockchild wrote: | | GENDER VARIANT: A person whose gender presentation, either by nature or by choice does not conform to culturally-specific, gender-based expectations of a male/female binary gendering system that is linked to birth sex. This may include people who don't fit, or choose to fit, into socially defined categories of "male" or "female", some who identify as trans but do not view themselves as either female or male, those who are androgynous, genderqueen and who display gender traits that are not normally associated with their birth sex(eg. "feminine" behaviour in a man or "masculine" behaviour in a woman). |
Thanks for both your replies and the this term. That's very interesting yet not really what I was thinking of, though I can see where there would definitely be overlap between "gender variant" and what I'm calling "unoriented." I guess my core issue is wanting to get outside the boxes, and creating another box doesn't really do that (though "unoriented" could be a box too). For example, from the description you give above, I get the sense that this term is "aimed" at people who have quite unconventional gender presentation. In that respect, it wouldn't refer to me: I'm a pretty run-of-the-mill appearing female in terms of presentation.
I guess I feel that this term may be to gender as "queer" is to orientation: it's designed to step outside or not strictly identify with the "usual categories," to be broader and more idiosyncratic. Yet due to a variety of chosen and/or imposed connotations, it comes to mean something pointedly counter to the dominant culture: e.g. "queer" connotes "gay." I feel like "gender variant," from your description, connotes "trans/androgynous."
I'm searching after a way of being more softly counter to the dominant culture. Not so much saying, "I'm not there; I'm over here" as saying, "Stop trying to pigeonhole where I am."
Again, I really appreciate your reply. This is sparking a lot of good thinking for me!
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rainbow cockchild
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Re: unorientationAs I posted about gender varient I knew that it did not exactly fit the "box" that you are looking to discover. I thought, however, that you may find it helpful, at the very least be able to relate. =D I totally respect your need to "softly counter the dominant culture". I also would like people to stop pigeonholing my sexuality in any way shape or form. Are you familiar with the term pansexual?
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